Pieces of me in letters

I finally ended a journey that was started when I was only a six year old child. Very lucky to get the chance to go all the way, with the last two segments of the journey that were particularly very rewarding. I don’t exactly have the experience of climbing a mountain, but I would describe the whole journey as very similar to one. The closer I got to the top, the more difficult it became. Many times that the top seemed so far away and I thought I would never make it there. There were also times when I tried to climb but then I fell off to a lower place. I was discouraged, and perhaps I would quit if I let myself believe that I couldn’t make it. People around me didn’t let me, and that became a significant push to keep climbing. And I finally made it to the top. Happy and relieved. I looked around the view from the top. From there I saw people waving to me with warm big smile. A sincere happiness. Although I also noticed a slight enviness. That is life.

I finished climbing one mountain, another mountain is waiting. I don’t have much control as to when and how I can reach the top. Some bureaucrats decide which route I should take, the tools I can use for climbing, and the speed to reach each segment along the way. But the good thing is… I am not alone. I am on this journey with somebody I very much love. We climb this mountain together, and when we finally get to the top… we will enjoy the beautiful scenery together. Some negative comments and opinions may be there too… but again, that is just life. Can’t make everybody happy, but we both know that we try our best with good intention and at the end of the day that is all that matters.

I experience Tokyo again. Many familiar things, and a few new things. Smell of summer, long walks, crowded trains, fun window shopping, shrimp burger at McDonald’s… those are familiar things. New things… Fukutoshin subway line that took me directly to Ikebukuro from Shinjuku Sanchome non-stop (that was fast!), and my first sento (public bath) ever.

Fukutoshin subway line just started operating a couple of weeks ago. An alternative to JR Yamanote Line for Ikebukuro - Shibuya route. It was kinda fun to ride a brand new train with brand new station too. Everything looks clean, and have this particular “new smell”.

Sento… I almost can’t believe I had never been there before. I’ve been to onsen (hot spring) so many times and I really liked it. But for some reason I wasn’t that interested in going to sento. I finally did, last weekend. And it was very good. Never thought sento could be that nice. With several different baths and a huge TV! It was really good soaking in warm water that was infused with rose and sandalwood. Aahh… talking about relaxing after a long day!

Tokyo will always be a special place for me. I hope I will get many more chance to experience both the familiar and new things of Tokyo.

I travel quit a bit more than most people (but alot less than many of people I know). Been to amazing places and had so much fun. But there is something I recently notice. The places I have visited were not exactly the places I originally wanted to go.

There are, ofcourse, many places in this world that I really want to go to. But for the past few years I have always wanted to go to Canada and Belgium. Have I been there so far? Nope. Does it seem like I will go there sometime in the near future? Hmm… probably not.

I am a traveler with no plans. I just go to a place that it is the most feasible at a given time. It works well for me because I basically want to experience new places, regardless where (but not ANYWHERE… I am not going to places where there is war or high level of crime). I could have just saved the resources I had to go to Canada or Belgium… and I would have been there by now. But I don’t have any regrets. In fact… I am just happy that my next travel is probably to Latin America. Exciting!

Sorry Canada and Belgium… seems like you just have to wait for me again!

In Sex and the City, a guy named Berger broke up with Carrie on a post-it put on her laptop. She was furious. Not because of the break up per se, but because it was written on a post-it.

Breaking up is not a good news (most of the times anyway…) But certainly there are good ways…  to break up with somebody. If one is brave to start the relationship, one should also be brave enough to end it in the most dignified way possible. Post-it, e-mails, letter, phone… generally speaking, are NOT one of them.

How one drops the news of breaking up speaks alot about one’s real personality. People who drops the news face to face and look at the other person’s eyes are those with big heart. Why? Because it shows that however the feelings that brought them together have faded or gone altogether… compasion and respect to everything they have shared with the other person still remain.

I’ve experienced breaking up quite a few times. The best one was done in my apartment and the whole process took about 30 minutes or so. Just us looking at each other eyes and talking why it was time end it. I’d lie if I said it didn’t hurt. But my ex and I are friends now. When we still lived in the same city, sometimes we met up for coffee, talked and laughed for hours. You see… that’s another thing about having a dignified break-up… a potential friendship in the future.

Although there is a good way to break up with somebody, I think I speak for everybody that breaking up is something that we all want to avoid. I think have had enough share of breaking up in my life… and I hope I will never have to experience it again.

I am listening to Diana Krall’s Black Crow while writing this posting. It is such a relaxing song… and it reminds me of myself.

There’s a crow flying
Dark and ragged
Tree to tree
He’s black as the highway that’s leading me
Now he’s diving down
To pick up on something shiny
I feel like that black crow
Flying
In a blue sky

I took a ferry to the highway
Then I drove to a pontoon plane
I took a plane to a taxi
And a taxi to a train
I’ve been traveling so long
How am I ever going to know my home
When I see it again
I’m like a black crow flying
In a blue, blue sky

Like the black crow… I had been traveling so long I didn’t know anymore where my home was. I was looking for my home, and I glad knowing that I finally found it. Although controversial… and so many questions around, I am just glad that I finally find my home…. and can’t wait to get there. 

I took driving class and got my license about 2 weeks ago. Here’s the question… is driving supposed to be stressful or fun?

I drive my dad’s car, a Suzuki Escudo with manual transmission. I have to say I hate stepping on the clutch. It’s just so tiring… especially when you have to drive in a hectic traffic! With sky rocketing gas price, many people switch to motorcycle. There are just so many of them out there on the street… and they drive me crazy with their I-am-small-so-I-can-go-here-and-there-whenever-I-want-to attitude on the street! So for me, driving is more stressful than fun, because of the crazy traffic… and because… well… I drive my dad’s car. If anything bad happened (God forbids!), I’d be in BIG trouble. Huhuhu…. (;_;)

But I have to say that I felt good when I drove my mom to post office and then to grocery shopping today. A little something that I can do to help her. Although her constant “Watch out!” drove me nuts. It just didn’t help any new driver at all!

Very likely in the near future that I will drive in a place where traffic is much better. Sounds good, right? Well… not so fast. I am not sure I can drive…. on the other side of the road…… (^_^;) Waaaaa!
I think I will just settle with a bicycle… for awhile.

For the last couple of days I read news about the discovery of an uncontacted tribe in the Amazon. I am amazed but also sad at the same time.

I am amazed because… after all the modernization its expansion to almost every corner in this globe, these tribes with their modest lifestyle and civilization, manage to survive.
I am sad because… this modest lifestyle and civilization are threatened. Threatened by logging, by oil mining, and by expansion of agriculture land. And by those who - think it’s the best thing to do - want to introduce modern life to these tribes.

At some point in my life, I was lucky to get the chance to be introduced to somewhat similar modest lifestyle. It was a short but valuable experience for me. I learned that we live our lifes the way we want it, and that nobody should force other people to adopt a certain lifestyle, even in the name of modernization that we - who has been living in it - believe is the best way to go. 

The untouched tribes like those in Amazon and other parts of the worlds, have their own lifestyle that they also believe is the best way to go. In many ways, it is the best way to go. They don’t have to face all the stress we face in a modern life… increase price of oil and food… and diseases like AIDS. They can survive and even happy without electricity, without internet, withour cars, without the stress of modern life. So let them be. If we really care about their existance as we all claim, leave them alone. Protect the world where they live in so they can sustain whatever it is the lifestyle they prefer. And we all know that protecting their world to live in, also supporting our own life and survival. It’s a win-win solution.

Baby Belle is about 12 weeks old. She is a cute Rhodesian Ridgeback puppy. We welcomed her to our home yesterday. 
 
This certainly rises the eyebrows of those who know me well. Yes… I know. I had always been scared of dogs. Small or big… didn’t matter. They all scared me. But it started to change recently, little by little. I am not completely comfortable with dogs yet, but my perception about this particular creature has shifted. From an animal that does nothing but barking, chasing, and biting things (and people!)… to a lovable and playful companion.

But a Rhodesian Ridgeback? Are you sure?? Some of you who may be familiar with dogs probably ask those questions. To be honest, I asked the same question to myself also Baby Belle is small and cute. But once she is grown up, she will be almost the same weight as I am. And originally, Ridgebacks are bred to hunt lion!
Having Baby Belle in our home is a big step for me. I probably wouldn’t get to this point if I wasn’t convinced that everything would work out fine.  I am glad that I can communicate my worries and fears as freely as I would like to. And I am glad knowing that those worries and fears would never be ignored.

Welcome home, Baby Belle! :) 

There are two types of children. Those who grow up wanting to be like their parents, and those who grow up knowing that they don’t want to be like their parents. Which one were you?

My parents are great people. They taught me countless different good things and I don’t think I would be what I am today if  not because of my parents. However, for so many different reasons, I grew up knowing that I don’t want to be like them.

Parents do their best to be good role model for their children. I would to, if I had my own children someday. But nobody is flawless. Everybody has flaws. I do, you do, my parents do. Growing up living with parents’ flaw, some children grow up carrying those flaws with them, knowingly or unknowingly. Other children grow up determined that they don’t want to carry those flaws with them, hoping that they would be a better person than their parents. I am like that. But along the way, I pick up different flaws. Perhaps, subconciously I also carry some of my parents’ flaws with me. I try to be a better person, but I can’t possibly be flawless.

The battle has started. Somewhat feels like us against the whole world. I am scared and excited at the same time… anticipating all possibilities. I hope that we will be the lucky ones to have a short battle. There are people out there who went through the same battle. For some, the battle was short. For some other, the battle was long, exhausting, and sometimes even unbearable. Sometimes I feel confident that the battle will be over soon. Because like you said… we are sincere. But other times, I am alot less than confident. No matter what will happen, we are in this battle together and we are determined to win… God willing.