Response to comment for “Appreciation”
Cultural differences are always interesting to discuss because of its sensitivity and complexity.
Living in a foreign country, I get to know and be friends with people from many different backgrounds and cultures. I found that cultural differences can be interesting but also challenging (at a few certain times, it can be even frustrating… hehehe). I also found that it takes time to realize that what is acceptable or common in a culture may not be acceptable or common in other culture and vice versa.
I don’t think I can blame someone to have a certain expectation in how people should express their appreciation based on what she/he was taught/learned for years: Common Courtesy 101, if I could just borrow Chuck’s terminology :P However I must say that “expectation” can be dangerous. My friend M and I actually talked about this “expectation” issue a few times. He said that expectation causes frustrations and thus problems among people. I was shocked to be considered unappreciative and even more shocked by the “mean things” I heard along the way. Mean because I did not expect to hear those things from somebody who barely knows me, and because in the culture which I grew up in people are expected to not say such things. Anybody sees the problem now? 
I grew up (and currently living) in a culture where subtle ways to express feelings/emotions is considered wiser than open confrontation. I personally think that open confrontation rarely leads to solution and more likely leads to empty argument. The worst thing is when it makes one feels very intensely emotional and then say something that he/she will regret later on. I was asked: “Do you not get use to people confronting you? Do you always get what you want?”. The first time I was asked such questions in my entire life and I didn’t really have reason to answer.　Because I know myself too well that answering them very likely would just make me end up saying things that I didn’t mean.
To put an end to this topic…
Expectation is shaped by culture, which implies that what is acceptable or not acceptable is relative. I think the first step toward mutual understanding is how to communicate the difference without judgement. My thanks to Chuck for his comment. It spices up my blog 
